Gentlemen, these tips are for you. Women often have different perspectives and ways of resolving conflict compared to men. Also, the nature of the relationship you have with her will determine how you communicate; be it a business colleague, neighbour, relative, or stranger in the street. Yet when it comes to resolving conflict with your woman, your wife or significant other, it’s more important to do it well. There is more at stake when it’s your life partner. So these tips are designed to ‘open up a perspective’ on how to resolve conflict with your woman.
Tip #1
As an initial response to conflict, don’t get defensive.
It’s noble to want to protect her or feel responsible for her happiness, yet a gut instinct of defending yourself from being blamed puts you at a disadvantage. It may not be about you personally when she is expressing a criticism. If you first assume a defensive attitude, it may create a big misunderstanding that perpetuates. It takes you off course from actually resolving the conflict and it may create bad feelings between both of you. Also, if you go into defensive mode, your brain flips into emotional, knee-jerk reactions. It’s a fact. In the moment of stress and high emotion, our brains disengage from our reasoning abilities. It’s harder to see things rationally or objectively when in the emotional moment.
Tip #2
Don’t try to fix it, try to understand it.
Men, you do have a drive and capability to fix things. Remember, emotions are rarely clearly defined, people are different, and it’s hard to ‘fix’ something we can’t all agree on. Yet when it comes to conflict resolution, one of the biggest complaints from women is that their partner tries to ‘fix it’ when she simply wants or needs him to hear her out for the purpose of understanding. As you’re trying to fix the problem, she may feel it’s rude and disrespectful to not even allow her to get it off her chest. As we all know, sometimes just by being able to vent about a problem – half of it disappears just by being able to express it. So men, maybe she needs your strength as a supportive ear; a good listener. And as a bonus to this tip, if she feels that you are a good listener, it’s a great aphrodisiac.
Tip #3
Avoid blaming her ‘emotions’ as the cause and affect of the conflict.
Whether that’s the case or not, this tactic rarely works. How someone ‘feels’ is a bi-product of a specific problem or misunderstanding that has caused the conflict. And if the conflict is ignored or not resolved, it just snowballs. Emotions are not wrong per se, and sometimes we don’t choose them. Sometimes people just ‘feel’ a certain way. Yet if emotions get really raw ‘during’ your conflict resolution, it may be wise for both of you to respectfully take a break and revisit it later. As another perspective, if you blame her emotions for the conflict, it’s a weak defense. It can also be a cheap shot in trying to detach completely by blaming the whole thing on how somebody else ‘feels’ about it. It’s also a weak defense that is sometimes used as a tactic when somebody is actually caught doing something wrong. It’s a lot easier to blame the other person’s emotions than to fess up. Yet most importantly gentlemen, never, ever, ever blame it on hormones. Just trust me on that one.
Your relationship with your partner is so important. And effective conflict resolution can nurture the loving relationship you deserve.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
3 Tips for Women when Resolving Conflict with your Man
Men and Women negotiate, and resolve conflict differently. Yet, when it comes to resolving conflict with the man you live with, your spouse or significant other, it's more personal, more variables to consider, and more at stake.
Effective communication can nurture a long and strong relationship. Miscommunication may have the opposite effect. So, here are 3 Quick Communication Tips for Women when resolving conflict with your man.
#1 The Timing
Try to find a time when both of you are calm. When calm, we can think more clearly, objectively, and reasonably. If you try to resolve conflict when 1 or both parties are highly stressed or emotional, all that objective reasoning may go right out the window. Then, it may get personal. And remember, this is someone who you love, so you want to protect yourselves from being in a position where 1 person may have a ‘knee-jerk’ gut reaction response, and say something hurtful – that perhaps they wouldn’t have said if they were feeling calm and less threatened at the time.
#2 Be Direct in Asking for What You Want.
Don’t expect them to just ‘get it’. They may not understand hints, nuances, and subtlety. You need to ask for what you want and be direct about it. Watch the words you use. Don’t imply or infer. Don’t ask “could you” or “would you” and avoid saying “you should” as it may spark their reaction of ‘I’m being blamed.’ Instead, try using direct words like “will you” or “I need”. Remember, you’re partners, he wants to help and protect you.
#3 Get to the Point and Stick to the Facts.
Men are considered to be task driven and tend to do better when dealing with 1 thing at a time. Sometimes women, when resolving conflict, tend to tag on a lot of extra information. Don’t let your message get convoluted with all the 'Reasons' – focus on the results you want. And if your man feels bombarded with emotions, his defenses may go up. You are now asking him to fix many things – multi-task - and your message is less direct.
Stick to the facts. Facts can be understood by both parties. The emotions around the problem are not as easy to fix. Unlike facts, emotions are not clearly defined and can have many interpretations. As an example: “You make me feel . . . ” is harder to 'fix' than “The container needs to be repaired before pick-up this Friday”.
Of course, there are many things to consider when resolving conflict, yet I hope these 3 Tips will help my fellow Women, when it comes to resolving conflict with your man.
Effective communication can nurture a long and strong relationship. Miscommunication may have the opposite effect. So, here are 3 Quick Communication Tips for Women when resolving conflict with your man.
#1 The Timing
Try to find a time when both of you are calm. When calm, we can think more clearly, objectively, and reasonably. If you try to resolve conflict when 1 or both parties are highly stressed or emotional, all that objective reasoning may go right out the window. Then, it may get personal. And remember, this is someone who you love, so you want to protect yourselves from being in a position where 1 person may have a ‘knee-jerk’ gut reaction response, and say something hurtful – that perhaps they wouldn’t have said if they were feeling calm and less threatened at the time.
#2 Be Direct in Asking for What You Want.
Don’t expect them to just ‘get it’. They may not understand hints, nuances, and subtlety. You need to ask for what you want and be direct about it. Watch the words you use. Don’t imply or infer. Don’t ask “could you” or “would you” and avoid saying “you should” as it may spark their reaction of ‘I’m being blamed.’ Instead, try using direct words like “will you” or “I need”. Remember, you’re partners, he wants to help and protect you.
#3 Get to the Point and Stick to the Facts.
Men are considered to be task driven and tend to do better when dealing with 1 thing at a time. Sometimes women, when resolving conflict, tend to tag on a lot of extra information. Don’t let your message get convoluted with all the 'Reasons' – focus on the results you want. And if your man feels bombarded with emotions, his defenses may go up. You are now asking him to fix many things – multi-task - and your message is less direct.
Stick to the facts. Facts can be understood by both parties. The emotions around the problem are not as easy to fix. Unlike facts, emotions are not clearly defined and can have many interpretations. As an example: “You make me feel . . . ” is harder to 'fix' than “The container needs to be repaired before pick-up this Friday”.
Of course, there are many things to consider when resolving conflict, yet I hope these 3 Tips will help my fellow Women, when it comes to resolving conflict with your man.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
7 Tips for Air Travel & Security Line-ups
With air travel getting more stressful and less dignified, here are 7 tips for check-in, security line-ups, and when on board the plane.
Bon Voyage!
http://www.mclarenformulatraining.com/
http://www.quickcommunicationtips.com/
- Get your boarding pass ASAP – Most airlines offer 24 hour advance check-in online and often you can change your seat if you don’t like the one they pre-selected for you. Less likely to be bumped and avoid the stress of being late for the check-in deadline when you have your boarding pass in your hand.
- Dress for security success - Be aware of the accumulation of metal you may be wearing from shoes, buttons, buckles, to wire support bras to avoid the pat down frustration & humiliation search exercise under the glaring eyes of other frustrated travelers resenting you for the delay. Wear comfortable shoes without metal (ie: running shoes – most business shoes have metal in them) Take your belt off and shoes if you are unsure about the metal content of them.
- Which security line-up to get into – if possible, get in the line-up that has more business travelers as they tend to be more savvy in packing & preparing for security. Sometimes families, party holiday people, and those delightful elderly who find it all new and confusing may delay the line.
- Pack carry-on for success – YES, put all liquids in small 3 oz containers in a plastic bag. Even though every Transport Security Agent (TSA) will tell you, amazing how many people don’t do it and you’ll further prolong the ordeal for everyone else in line if you’re not prepared. A stuffed bag is harder to detect what’s inside so take out extra things to put in the bin if you’re packed to the max – electronics, anything metal. Regrettably, many flights currently will not allow ANY carry-on luggage so know in advance what restrictions there are.
- Wear extra support socks as your feet will swell during flight.
- Have food handy - Any flight under 3 hours will not offer you food & with delays, line-ups, & tight connections, eating can be challenging. Most airports tend to specialize in pizza, muffins, junk/fast food & carb heavy questionable sandwiches so bring something healthy. Examples: nuts, prunes, energy bars, tuna & crackers to-go that are found in grocery stores (fish, prunes, nuts are good for the brain) and have drinking water available.
- Always be polite and respectful to the Transport Security Agents (TSA) even if they may be rude and less than diplomatic. Give eye contact with a pleasant expression. TSA’s are almost in the same hated category as parking meter attendants. Don’t give them a reason to feel defensive or disrespected – you don’t want to be singled out as they take the stress of their job out on you.
Bon Voyage!
http://www.mclarenformulatraining.com/
http://www.quickcommunicationtips.com/
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
20 Tips to Communicate with your Teenager
Effective communication is one of the most important skills yet when our children become teenagers, it gets more challenging. Communication may become more stressed, painful, frustrating, confusing, anger inducing, heart wrenching.
These communication tips are designed to help you open communication, resolve conflict, and reduce stress for you and your teenager.
- Put Yourself in Their Shoes. It’s a challenging time. Their developing bodies, brains, hormones, peer pressure, independence, and natural inclination to defy authority is in full swing. Think about it, would you want to go through puberty again?
- Build their self-esteem. It’s a time when they need it most. They yearn for parents to be proud of them and be accepted by others - even if they don’t show it. Low self-esteem is one of the most crippling diseases out there.
- Sleep is a Factor. Before we assume they are lazy remember, teenagers do need more sleep. Also, when overtired, we can’t think straight. A sleep depraved teenager and fatigued parent is not a good mix for effective communication.
- Be a Guide on the Side - not a Sage on the Stage. Most of us don’t want to be told what to do and how to do it. Educate means to bring out from within, not being a know-it-all.
- Reinforce Positive Attention. Attention is a form of reward. Acknowledge what they do well so they are inclined to do it again. Some kids behave horribly because any attention is better than none at all.
- Be Specific When Praising. The more general it is, the less impact it has. Acknowledge the specific behaviour or skill they used when praising them.
- Never Say Always. Accusing them of Always doing or being a certain way often triggers the shut down, tune out response.
- Avoid Saying Never. Never comes across as blame, accusation, or guilt inducing. You’ll be tuned out again and resentment will build.
- Be Aware of Stress. Under stress, we can’t think as rationally and may say things we regret. When you and/or your teenager feels stressed, it may be wise to delay communication.
- Listen. If you change the letters around, it also spells the word Silent. Hear them out without interruption. One of the best ways to honour someone is to listen to them.
- Ask for Specifics. If you don’t understand what they mean, ask for an example or something specific. In encourages understanding and avoids assuming, or getting it wrong.
- Don’t Nag. A teenager’s most common complaint with parents. Teenagers don’t always listen, they forget constantly, it’s mentioned in scientific/medical journals. Expect to experience the frustration of chronic reminder syndrome. Even when you’re right, they’ll resent it when nagged about it.
- Involve Them in Conflict Resolution. Ask them what they see in the way of resolution? What would they do if they were you? It encourages negotiation and accountability.
- Criticize in Private. Being criticized in front of siblings, friends, or in public is rude and displays bad manners. Losing face in front of others may only motivate your teenager to resent you and themselves more.
- Prepare In Advance. It is wise to take time to think and prepare how to best communicate. Forethought wins.
- Be Objective Not Personal. “By not providing your resume in time, you missed the opportunity to be considered for the job” is objective. “You’re so lazy, you didn’t even get your resume there on time” is personal.
- Change Body Language to Reduce Conflict. Standing over them, in their space, pointing your finger, or standing full-on face to face (especially father and son) can increase stress. Try sitting down, equal eye level, stand to the side so shoulders are closer than torsos, even tilting your head to the side implies your openness to listen and decreases their defensiveness.
- Be The Parent. It’s great to be their friend yet remember, they need you to be the parent. Call them on it when they go astray or too far. Reinforce what is right and wrong, talk to them, and lead through example.
- There is an End in Sight. Coach them through it and don’t be too hard on them or yourself. Provide a safe environment to grow and make mistakes. Sometimes we don’t realize how much we needed, respected, or learned from our parents until we become adults.
Having a child is when we truly understand and experience the depth of love. When they reach those trying teenage years remember, communication challenges are normal. You are not alone. Just do your best and trust the rest.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Brilliant Customer Service; the Spock and Serotonin Effect
Did you know that every time you perform a kind or considerate act, it automatically strengthens your immune system? It also stimulates production of serotonin in the brain. And the more serotonin you have, the better you feel. So, being nice to others is good for you, and it feels good? This sounds like a bit of a win-win to me. Yet it doesn't just stop there.
Equally exciting, is that the person receiving the kindness is going through the exact same thing. You are both experiencing increased happiness and stronger immune systems. What is also fascinating about this, is that people who witness the kindness, will also experience the same benefits of increased health and happiness. Talk about the ripple effect, I'm smiling just thinking about it.
How can you tap into these amazing benefits? You can do it every day at work by delivering brilliant customer service. It's brilliant because you light up your life and the lives of others as a result. It also happens to be brilliant for business. Feeling good has a direct impact on your productivity. So, we're happier, healthier, and more productive.
The art of communicating brilliant customer service is even more powerful when it comes to problems. This is good. Think about it, if you don't have problems to fix - you don't have a business. Business is all about solving problems for people and brilliant customer service is about doing it well so you, and your business prospers.
Have a sincere intent to be of service, pleasant, considerate, and understand how to communicate that from the start. There are some powerful foundational things to know when it comes to ensuring customer service success from first impressions, to building rapport, and problem solving. It's enlightening, empowering, and according to research, it's good for you.
So go out there and be brilliant. And in doing so, (to take the words from Spock, of the star ship Enterprise) you will 'live long and prosper'.
Equally exciting, is that the person receiving the kindness is going through the exact same thing. You are both experiencing increased happiness and stronger immune systems. What is also fascinating about this, is that people who witness the kindness, will also experience the same benefits of increased health and happiness. Talk about the ripple effect, I'm smiling just thinking about it.
How can you tap into these amazing benefits? You can do it every day at work by delivering brilliant customer service. It's brilliant because you light up your life and the lives of others as a result. It also happens to be brilliant for business. Feeling good has a direct impact on your productivity. So, we're happier, healthier, and more productive.
The art of communicating brilliant customer service is even more powerful when it comes to problems. This is good. Think about it, if you don't have problems to fix - you don't have a business. Business is all about solving problems for people and brilliant customer service is about doing it well so you, and your business prospers.
Have a sincere intent to be of service, pleasant, considerate, and understand how to communicate that from the start. There are some powerful foundational things to know when it comes to ensuring customer service success from first impressions, to building rapport, and problem solving. It's enlightening, empowering, and according to research, it's good for you.
So go out there and be brilliant. And in doing so, (to take the words from Spock, of the star ship Enterprise) you will 'live long and prosper'.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Customers Don't Want to Hear Your Excuses. aka: don't mess with my chocolate!
With any business, sometimes things go wrong; a glitch happens, an error. For whatever reason, the customer did not receive the product or service your business said it would provide. Often customers are fine with it, as long as you take ownership of the mistake you made and resolve it. Basically, deliver what you said you would.
As customers, we often like to hear the reason, so we can understand. But the last thing we want to hear are excuses for why it wasn't done right in the first place. It's a passive-defensive response, guaranteed to irritate the customer, and customers may question your consistency in providing future products/services.
Here's a classic example, it happened a few weeks ago at a Boston Pizza in Lethbridge, AB. Now, I've been to this chain in various cities. They deliver as they advertise; it's consistent. In fact, their Chocolate Explosion Cake is amazing! I've got a substance abuse problem with chocolate and their portions are huge!
So, I finished delivering a full day seminar, missed lunch, it's 5:oo, and I'm ravenous. Across the street from the hotel I notice a Boston Pizza. Great service, however the potatoes aren't hot and the salmon is overcooked and hard on the ends but no problem. I'm hungry, I'll eat the middle bits, more than enough food here and it's still delicious. What I'm really pining for is my chocolate explosion that I deserve and have been dreaming of since I walked in the door. Ooh, ooh, I can't wait!
The moment it was placed before me, I knew something was wrong. It's supposed to look chocolaty brown with chunks of white cheesecake in the center laced throughout the soft, smooth mousy/praline like substance being held up by a bottom layer of crumbled chocolate cookie. Ohh, how it cuts with a fork. Ahh, the textures. I had my coffee and Globe & Mail to savor it with; it was all planned! But instead, it was frozen solid, layered with frost, looked mostly white. It was impenetrable. I couldn't get my fork or knife through it.
In that moment, I felt a hint of righteous indignation. I didn't order a rock hard frozen cake, and why would you serve it to me like that in the 1st place? With beautiful politeness, I confirm with the server I have appreciated her service, yet did not expect or want a frozen cake. "Could I have it the way you usually serve it?" She offers to 'put it in the microwave' for me. Now, for those readers who are not shocked by this comment, perhaps this blog isn't for you. If your mouth is open with surprise, wait, theres more . . .
You can't microwave a dessert item like that and perhaps she just doesn't know. "Could you please see if the chef or kitchen staff have a different suggestion?" I ask. She returns with a message "He said all they can do is microwave it and it's not his fault. The guy who was supposed to take this dessert out of the freezer forgot so there is nothing he can do about it." Hmm, I ponder - if I was told about this oversight before being served, I could have chosen to receive it frozen, or change my dessert order.
Now, as a customer, I didn't feel like being a problem. The caramel/chocolate sauces were already drizzled over it and the dollops of whipped cream were starting to chill against my cake. There can be a solution to this without ruining it, wasting it, or having the restaurant feel they have to give it to me for free.
"Would you please prepare my dessert to go? I'll let it thaw and enjoy it in my hotel room later." I'm feeling smug as I've created a win/win - the restaurant has an opportunity to keep the customer happy and I can have my cake and eat it too . . . well, when it thaws out, that is.
However, I must say I was surprised when my to go dessert was delivered to me by the manager. He starts off by stating how it wasn't his or the chef's fault it was frozen, I heard the same lame excuse blaming someone else's forgetfulness and they would have happily micro-waved it for me. Yet the coup de grace for me was when I looked at my dessert. It was naked, no caramel/chocolate drizzles, no dollop of whipped cream. I mean where's the customer service love in that! Ouch. I didn't feel like being an inconvenience by asking it to be prepared as it is advertised, I'm still paying full price for it.
You see, this story goes beyond mere cake. It's a reflection of that particular management team, the leader, and how they train their team in customer service. As a franchise owner, I believe you have an expectation to maintain the standards of the chain - you're part of the overall team success. Adhere to your standards of consistency. When there is a glitch in your quality control, please remember, customers don't want to hear your excuses. Give them options and just do the right thing.
A glitch only turns into a problem when the customer has not been treated professionally and with consideration.
http://www.mclarenformulatraining.com/
http://www.quickcommunicationtips.com/
As customers, we often like to hear the reason, so we can understand. But the last thing we want to hear are excuses for why it wasn't done right in the first place. It's a passive-defensive response, guaranteed to irritate the customer, and customers may question your consistency in providing future products/services.
Here's a classic example, it happened a few weeks ago at a Boston Pizza in Lethbridge, AB. Now, I've been to this chain in various cities. They deliver as they advertise; it's consistent. In fact, their Chocolate Explosion Cake is amazing! I've got a substance abuse problem with chocolate and their portions are huge!
So, I finished delivering a full day seminar, missed lunch, it's 5:oo, and I'm ravenous. Across the street from the hotel I notice a Boston Pizza. Great service, however the potatoes aren't hot and the salmon is overcooked and hard on the ends but no problem. I'm hungry, I'll eat the middle bits, more than enough food here and it's still delicious. What I'm really pining for is my chocolate explosion that I deserve and have been dreaming of since I walked in the door. Ooh, ooh, I can't wait!
The moment it was placed before me, I knew something was wrong. It's supposed to look chocolaty brown with chunks of white cheesecake in the center laced throughout the soft, smooth mousy/praline like substance being held up by a bottom layer of crumbled chocolate cookie. Ohh, how it cuts with a fork. Ahh, the textures. I had my coffee and Globe & Mail to savor it with; it was all planned! But instead, it was frozen solid, layered with frost, looked mostly white. It was impenetrable. I couldn't get my fork or knife through it.
In that moment, I felt a hint of righteous indignation. I didn't order a rock hard frozen cake, and why would you serve it to me like that in the 1st place? With beautiful politeness, I confirm with the server I have appreciated her service, yet did not expect or want a frozen cake. "Could I have it the way you usually serve it?" She offers to 'put it in the microwave' for me. Now, for those readers who are not shocked by this comment, perhaps this blog isn't for you. If your mouth is open with surprise, wait, theres more . . .
You can't microwave a dessert item like that and perhaps she just doesn't know. "Could you please see if the chef or kitchen staff have a different suggestion?" I ask. She returns with a message "He said all they can do is microwave it and it's not his fault. The guy who was supposed to take this dessert out of the freezer forgot so there is nothing he can do about it." Hmm, I ponder - if I was told about this oversight before being served, I could have chosen to receive it frozen, or change my dessert order.
Now, as a customer, I didn't feel like being a problem. The caramel/chocolate sauces were already drizzled over it and the dollops of whipped cream were starting to chill against my cake. There can be a solution to this without ruining it, wasting it, or having the restaurant feel they have to give it to me for free.
"Would you please prepare my dessert to go? I'll let it thaw and enjoy it in my hotel room later." I'm feeling smug as I've created a win/win - the restaurant has an opportunity to keep the customer happy and I can have my cake and eat it too . . . well, when it thaws out, that is.
However, I must say I was surprised when my to go dessert was delivered to me by the manager. He starts off by stating how it wasn't his or the chef's fault it was frozen, I heard the same lame excuse blaming someone else's forgetfulness and they would have happily micro-waved it for me. Yet the coup de grace for me was when I looked at my dessert. It was naked, no caramel/chocolate drizzles, no dollop of whipped cream. I mean where's the customer service love in that! Ouch. I didn't feel like being an inconvenience by asking it to be prepared as it is advertised, I'm still paying full price for it.
You see, this story goes beyond mere cake. It's a reflection of that particular management team, the leader, and how they train their team in customer service. As a franchise owner, I believe you have an expectation to maintain the standards of the chain - you're part of the overall team success. Adhere to your standards of consistency. When there is a glitch in your quality control, please remember, customers don't want to hear your excuses. Give them options and just do the right thing.
A glitch only turns into a problem when the customer has not been treated professionally and with consideration.
http://www.mclarenformulatraining.com/
http://www.quickcommunicationtips.com/
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Persuading Toddlers to Teenagers to Eat Healthy Food; Fun tips on Mealtime Manipulation
Knowing and wanting your children to eat healthy food is one thing. Getting them to do it is another. As they learn to exert their own will and say 'no' in the various stages of their development, rather than the stress of forcing, lecturing, giving ultimatums or any of that 'bad vibe' stuff, try using a bit of merry manipulation. It's fun, creative, and time better spent for all of you. Instead of a 'battle of wills', mealtime can be fun and a bit playful - and we all know how well kids learn through play.
Basically, whatever 'turns them on' at that particular age of their life can inspire you to create that same sense of fun with food. Get them eating it without them associating it to something they don't like. Here are some ideas . . .
You can turn it into a game of cause and effect. Every time you take a bite out of it, it makes you do something. You can't help it - it's as if the food takes control of your body! Take a bite out of their food and pretend it makes your arm wiggle all over the place. Oh no, this food makes me hop on one leg! And when I eat this, it makes me fall to the ground as if I am dead for 5 seconds. Then, let them try it.
During the particularly defiant stages, sitting beside my son with my plate just close enough for him to reach it, I'd try things like "I didn't give you any "X" because I'm afraid you'll like it too much and I don't feel like sharing so whatever you do, don't touch it" (said in a mock stern tone). They love to defy so use that against them. Is it manipulation, perhaps, yet is it fun. You bet! I once told him that the reason I didn't want him to eat a particular food is that it will make him invisible to me for 5 seconds. Of course I'd find reasons to look away or get up for something - always able to see him somehow in my peripheral vision or in a reflection. Then, when I notice he eats it, I make a big do about ''oh no, where is my son! He was here a second ago, I can't see him anywhere!" Then 5 seconds later, pretend you can see him again. Or, pretend when they eat a certain food, it makes You do something - so they have fun manipulating you.
One afternoon, my 2 young sons and I saw a show about dinosaurs - herbivores. After, I rigged lettuce leaves on bungee cords and hung them over the backs of chairs and other fixtures and we'd walk around the room like dinosaurs eating the leaves. I'd been trying to get them to eat lettuce for ages and this worked like a charm.
Pizza is a great place to sneak healthy food into them. I got away with hiding broccoli, cabbage, carrots, beets, lots of veggies under that layer of melted cheese. For 1 son, I called it 'Rainbow Pizza' - he loved rainbows. And for the older son, when he questioned the unusual colours in the pizza, (my inspiration was the Monty Python skit about the chocolates filled with lark's vomit?), I just told him it was bugs, monster vomit and Kryptonite. He couldn't wait to eat it.
From a young age, we started the tradition of a fruit drink each morning. Fresh and frozen fruit, juice and add yogurt or flax oil (hardly noticeable in taste) to keep the drink from separating. Makes great Popsicles, too. It's easy, fast, and delicious. And with a supply of various frozen fruit it provides fantastic variety and combinations.
Of course as they got older, they were pretty well trained to eat a variety of things yet if they still tried to get out of it, I'd try other types of merry manipulation like - public peer pressure. Elementary school boys don't want to be embarrassed in front of their friends so I'd threaten to give them a big slobbery kiss in front of everyone if they didn't eat some of the healthy stuff. Yep, that worked. As they became tall, strong, teenagers, I had to change my strategy so I'd threatened to show my old lady stomach if they didn't finish their food. Even though I am in good shape, no teenager wants to see their mothers stomach - ewwww.
Parenting comes with such responsibility and when it comes to healthy nutrition for our children, try a bit of merry manipulation. It's fun, creative and reduces stress.
Bon appetite!
Basically, whatever 'turns them on' at that particular age of their life can inspire you to create that same sense of fun with food. Get them eating it without them associating it to something they don't like. Here are some ideas . . .
You can turn it into a game of cause and effect. Every time you take a bite out of it, it makes you do something. You can't help it - it's as if the food takes control of your body! Take a bite out of their food and pretend it makes your arm wiggle all over the place. Oh no, this food makes me hop on one leg! And when I eat this, it makes me fall to the ground as if I am dead for 5 seconds. Then, let them try it.
During the particularly defiant stages, sitting beside my son with my plate just close enough for him to reach it, I'd try things like "I didn't give you any "X" because I'm afraid you'll like it too much and I don't feel like sharing so whatever you do, don't touch it" (said in a mock stern tone). They love to defy so use that against them. Is it manipulation, perhaps, yet is it fun. You bet! I once told him that the reason I didn't want him to eat a particular food is that it will make him invisible to me for 5 seconds. Of course I'd find reasons to look away or get up for something - always able to see him somehow in my peripheral vision or in a reflection. Then, when I notice he eats it, I make a big do about ''oh no, where is my son! He was here a second ago, I can't see him anywhere!" Then 5 seconds later, pretend you can see him again. Or, pretend when they eat a certain food, it makes You do something - so they have fun manipulating you.
One afternoon, my 2 young sons and I saw a show about dinosaurs - herbivores. After, I rigged lettuce leaves on bungee cords and hung them over the backs of chairs and other fixtures and we'd walk around the room like dinosaurs eating the leaves. I'd been trying to get them to eat lettuce for ages and this worked like a charm.
Pizza is a great place to sneak healthy food into them. I got away with hiding broccoli, cabbage, carrots, beets, lots of veggies under that layer of melted cheese. For 1 son, I called it 'Rainbow Pizza' - he loved rainbows. And for the older son, when he questioned the unusual colours in the pizza, (my inspiration was the Monty Python skit about the chocolates filled with lark's vomit?), I just told him it was bugs, monster vomit and Kryptonite. He couldn't wait to eat it.
From a young age, we started the tradition of a fruit drink each morning. Fresh and frozen fruit, juice and add yogurt or flax oil (hardly noticeable in taste) to keep the drink from separating. Makes great Popsicles, too. It's easy, fast, and delicious. And with a supply of various frozen fruit it provides fantastic variety and combinations.
Of course as they got older, they were pretty well trained to eat a variety of things yet if they still tried to get out of it, I'd try other types of merry manipulation like - public peer pressure. Elementary school boys don't want to be embarrassed in front of their friends so I'd threaten to give them a big slobbery kiss in front of everyone if they didn't eat some of the healthy stuff. Yep, that worked. As they became tall, strong, teenagers, I had to change my strategy so I'd threatened to show my old lady stomach if they didn't finish their food. Even though I am in good shape, no teenager wants to see their mothers stomach - ewwww.
Parenting comes with such responsibility and when it comes to healthy nutrition for our children, try a bit of merry manipulation. It's fun, creative and reduces stress.
Bon appetite!
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